Emotional drinking vs alcoholism – is there a difference? This is the topic of today’s guest author, Georgia Foster. As Georgia explains, there are many reasons people drink and not all who drink too much are alcoholics, a fact I explain in my post, “Is It Alcoholism? – How Can You Tell?” People who have not crossed the line from alcohol abuse to alcoholism can change their drinking pattern to fall within low-risk limits, which is where Georgia’s new book, Drink Less in 7 Days, can be of help. People with alcoholism cannot drink any amount, period, for the reasons explained in my post linked above.

To give you some background on Georgia, she is a clinical hypnotherapist & voice dialogue trainer. She qualified with distinction at The London College of Clinical Hypnosis in 1996. She then went on to become one of the college’s senior lecturers before venturing out on her own to build her online products while running her busy London Clinic. Georgia now resides in Melbourne, Australia. She specializes in alcohol reduction, emotional overeating, self-esteem, anxiety, and fertility issues. Her unique and highly successful approach has helped tens of thousands of people learn how to feel better emotionally and physically. Her new book, “Drink Less in 7 Days,” hits shelves February 2019. To learn more visit www.georgiafoster.com.

Emotional Drinking vs Alcoholism – Is It Possible to Find the Middle Ground of Drinking? by Georgia Foster

There are many people who recognize that their relationship with alcohol is steering into very muddy waters. They begin to worry, ‘Am I an alcoholic?’ or ‘Do I need to quit drinking?’

Even asking these questions can trigger fear and anxiety which, ironically, can drive people to drink even more!

It’s not that people want to drink too much, it’s their negative thinking that drives them there by what I call The Inner Critic. The Inner Critic is the voice within that reminds drinkers — just as they begin to make progress with reducing intake — about the previous moments when they consumed too much. It will then proclaim that these memories serve as evidence that this is who they are as a drinker and that they cannot change.

The truth is, change is possible and for many worried habitual drinkers it is possible to train the brain to drink less. The key is to create a different present and future path that will store memories that reflect a healthier relationship between themselves and alcohol.

Someone with a strong Inner Critic may feel hounded by it because of the power of what it says such as ‘You don’t cope with life very well!’ or ‘What’s wrong with you? Everybody else copes without using alcohol. What’s your problem?’ This can stir emotional unrest and an unhealthy drive to drink when it is not necessarily the right answer.

Many drinkers are all too familiar with alcohol being their normal way of dealing with the stresses and strains of life. This is not because they like the idea of over-consuming alcohol. Instead, it’s a quick fix to resolving their vulnerable state; it’s the only time they feel as though they have some reprieve from the booming abusive voice of the Inner Critic. Many people don’t know that the Inner Critic shrinks when they consume alcohol, so it is no surprise that drinkers can — if their Inner Critic is strong enough — start to habitually drink more heavily. Before they know it, that one bottle of wine that used to give them their fix becomes two. This is also because the brain and body become tolerant to their usual amount of alcohol and will demand more over time.

Emotional Drinking vs Alcoholism: What’s the Difference?

When someone uses alcohol for emotional medicinal purposes on a regular basis it works well to hide pain and negative thinking; however, the hangover that inevitably arrives in the morning stirs more negative thinking and more self-questioning. The vicious cycle of drinking to run away from the Inner Critic continues. It becomes a Groundhog-Day situation where the drinker may not understand how this happened or how they got themselves into drinking too much, but it did happen for a reason.

The truth is that drinking too much didn’t arise out of nowhere and it certainly didn’t happen because the drinker wants to cause themselves more pain!

Emotional drinkers consume alcohol to run away from the emotions of sadness, grief, loneliness, fear and low self-worth. In fact, low self-esteem is the major player in an emotional drinker’s life. They have lost their faith in themselves. If heavy, regular drinking continues to occur, the once-heavy-drinker can start to fall into the category of alcoholism. It’s the stage where alcohol becomes more important to them than family life, their professional life, and their individual health and wellbeing.

Alcoholism can be learned from years of serious heavy drinking practices. Someone who has suffered a great deal of trauma or emotional and/or physical abuse can be more at risk for developing a severe alcohol addiction, and may be more prone to alcoholism rather than emotional overdrinking. However, sometimes the lines are blurred, and when in doubt, it’s always best to consult a professional.

The Outer Critic

There is also another major player in the emotional drinking versus alcoholism issue. A drinker may have an Outer Critic: a family member or close friend who is highly critical of the drinker’s relationship with alcohol. Their criticism can lead to sneaky drinking, when a drinker pretends they are drinking less than they are. The drinker will hide what they are actually drinking as a way to stop them from feeling bad as a result of the Outer Critic’s judgment. However, when found out, the drinker not only battles the external criticism, their Inner Critic confirms that the world knows they have a problem. This can create major anxiety and the drinker can spiral into even heavier drinking because they believe what the Outer Critic and Inner Critic says to be true. It’s a double whammy problem!

The shame, guilt, and embarrassment start to creep in. If not managed well from the beginning it can lead to a slippery slope verging on alcoholism.

People’s History Living with Alcoholics

I know many people who have a family history of alcoholism may be critical of drinkers not because they want to be judgmental, but because their history of living with an alcoholic can trigger a lot of emotional fears that it may happen again. They know the damage alcohol abuse can have. However, not all heavy drinkers are going to end up as alcoholics. I firmly believe most emotional drinkers can reduce their drinking with determination and a set of best practices.

We should not label all emotional drinkers as potential alcoholics. For many, it is possible to reduce their drinking when they improve their sober coping strategies and develop stronger self esteem. It is certainly not a ‘one size fits all’ problem that is resolved by simply quitting drinking altogether.

There is a middle ground of drinking which is available to men and women. The key to this is finding the right avenue of support so as not to judge or label the drinker, so they don’t feel there is only one way to handle this. Because there are lots of emotional drinkers out there who know they drink too much and truly do want to cut back but just don’t know how.

The secret is finding sober resources that support emotional kindness, lots of love and tenderness and being open about their fears of life. Remember, nobody truly wants to drink too much on a regular basis. Emotional drinkers usually do it because it gives them some space to just ‘be’. Finding other ways to enjoy life without alcohol can make a once-worried emotional drinker see some light at the end of the scary drinking-too-much tunnel!

Tuning Out the Inner Critic

When a heavy drinker stops listening to their Inner Critic as much, there is a sense of sober freedom. They begin to feel that life is safe without a glass of alcohol in their hand and that they don’t need to drink to run away from the Inner Critic! The once familiar response of drinking as a way to have some emotional space just isn’t necessary.

I am not suggesting this is an easy task for all drinkers; however, for an emotional drinker it is completely possible as long as they are not at the stage where alcohol is being prioritised over family, friends, and personal life.

I think we all need to honour that there is not a black and white answer for all drinkers. Each drinker needs to be able to find their own journey of whether they want to keep alcohol in their life or not. I believe building self-esteem and creating ways to feel ‘whole’ in life without alcohol in the equation is paramount. It’s important for the emotional drinker to find other ways to stimulate the good feelings that they used to get from alcohol, so their mind doesn’t demand it from that beer or wine or whatever they like to drink. This does take some practice but is well worth it as it gives the drinker evidence of positive ways of coping with life without alcohol being present.

Not only does the drinker need to find the right sober resources, they also need to understand that experiencing the feelings driven by the Inner and Outer Critics is normal. The easiest and simplest way to cut back drinking and to come to terms with emotional stress is to use hypnosis, which is a highly effective way to create healthy changes to the drinker’s routine in a very short period of time.