Help for friends and families of alcoholics | drug addicts | alcohol abusers or someone who drinks too much or abuses drugs is as important as helping the person with the substance misuse problem. I know. I am such a family member and friend. Unfortunately, it took me decades before I finally understood this, and it is for that reason that I am so deeply committed to helping the family members and friends understand the complexities and inter-connectedness of all of this. It takes this sort of understanding in order to appreciate what a person can do to improve their own lives – right now, today – as well as help their loved one.
So whether you are an individual family member looking for answers or an entire family whose loved one has completed rehab and is looking for help with moving forward, this section is for you. If you don’t find what you are looking for, please use the contact us form to send me a confidential email or call me at 650-362-3026. I have been researching, writing and consulting in this area since 2003 and can help you find the answer(s) for your particular situation. The important important take-away is that there is hope and a way out. It really can and does get better once – so please read through these resource options.
Understanding Alcohol or Drug Use | Abuse | Dependence
Often families and friends are at their wits end by the time they are visiting a site like this. Helping them understand what it is they may be dealing with (whether its substance abuse or addiction, for example) is a first step. To further your understanding and answer questions, I conduct two-hour informational consulting sessions with individuals and families (with or without the person whose substance misuse is of present concern) to help you better understand the science behind what substances of abuse do to the brain and how those brain changes affect a loved one’s behaviors. Armed with this knowledge, families and the person with the substance misuse problem are better able to let go of some of the blame, shame, denial and anger that gets in the way of moving forward or making next step-decisions. Click here for more on Informational Consulting: Understanding Alcohol or Drug Use | Abuse | Dependence.
Living Arrangement Agreements (LAA)

Living Arrangement Agreements can help friends and families of alcoholics | drug addicts | alcohol abusers work through issues around a loved one’s drinking or drug use.
Some families are not entirely convinced their loved one is a drug addict or alcoholic. They recognize that substance abuse is the problem — not the job, not the children, not the relationship — but they/their loved one still believe(s) they can “control” or “moderate” their substance use. And, it’s true, if the problem is substance abuse and not addiction, it is possible to use “low-risk” or moderate amounts of a substance — drinking within normal limits or using prescription drugs in accordance with a doctor’s prescription, for example. But, at the same time, the family members are anxious, worried, fearful this will be just one more in a series of broken promises to stop or cut down. Click here for more on Living Arrangement Agreements (LAA).
Family Continuing Care Plans (CCP)
There is the perception that after detox, a 28-day residential program, or an intensive outpatient treatment program that “all is well” and life can go back to “normal.” What is missing is the understanding that addiction, like other diseases, requires continuing care. According to the ASAM’s 2009 Principles of Addiction Medicine Fourth Edition, “…effective treatment attends to multiple needs of each individual, not just his or her alcohol or drug use. To be effective, treatment must address any associated medical, psychologic, social, vocational, legal problem, and environmental problems” (ASAM, Principles…, p. 389). Additionally, the Principles cite one of the key components of “the best treatment programs” is “continuing care” (ASAM, Principles…, p. 351).
Not only is this important for the individual in recovery from addiction, it is important for the family as a whole because addiction is a Family disease. Family Continuing Care Plans for long-term addiction recovery offer a way for families to move forward, together, supporting one another during a loved one’s early sobriety – continuing care. Click here for more on Family Continuing Care Plans.
Help for Friends | Families of Alcoholics | Drug Addicts | Alcohol Abusers or Loved Ones With a Substance Use Problem – Books By Lisa Frederiksen
I have written three books on these topics, two of which have been translated into Spanish. Please visit this section for details on books in English. There’s even a FREE booklet for downloading to help with talking to a child about a parent’s drinking.
For books in Spanish, please find links below:
- Si me amaras… dejarías de beber and Adicciones
- Codependencia, El ser querido bajo tratamiento… ¡Y ahora qué!
Short Explanatory Videos to Provide Help for Friends | Families of Alcoholics | Drug Addicts | Alcohol Abusers
I have created several short, 10-minute videos to provide answers to some of the common questions.
- How Much Is Too Much? “At-Risk” Drinking Patterns Explained
- DUI: Is It a Choice or an Accident?
- Alcoholism is a Disease and It’s Not Alcohol Abuse
To Learn More About Lisa Frederiksen and Her Work Helping Friends and Families
To schedule or learn more, please call 650-362-3026 or email lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com. I am always willing to answer initial questions and provide additional resources as identified in our conversation. To learn more about my background and qualifications, please click About Lisa Frederiksen.
