Sometimes a Change in How We Talk About Something Can Change How We Deal With It…

by Lisa Frederiksen

As you’ve gathered from the title of this site: Breaking The Cycles – Changing the Conversations, I’m a big proponent of changing how we talk about addiction- and substance abuse-related topics, in the hopes that by doing so, we can have BETTER outcomes. So, I thought I’d share a few that I find important when it comes to talking about addiction (drug addiction or alcoholism) and its treatment. In my view, we need to:

1. Change how we talk about trying to get a husband, daughter or parent to stop using/drinking to, “I know my loved one has a brain disease and needs treatment for that disease. Because drug addiction and alcoholism are two of the chronic brain diseases of addiction — a complicated disease, I understand my loved one is not willfully drinking or using to spite or hurt me.

2.  Change how we talk about treatment from something that should be short and quick (e.g., detox or 28-day residential rehab) to, “My loved one’s disease requires the same 3-part treatment model as other diseases: 1) detox/stabilization, 2) rehabilitation (rehab), and 3) continuing care. I recognize that like other diseases, all is not well, nor over-and-done after the surgery and/or hospital stay — it takes changing behaviors, doing follow-up care with a doctor, taking better care of one’s health…. It takes time.”

3.  Change how we talk about relapse from their having failed at treatment to, “One of the characteristics of my loved one’s brain disease is relapse; relapse is evidence that parts 2 and 3 of the disease treatment model need to be adjusted. This would be necessary in the treatment of cancer or heart disease, so I must remember that my loved one has a TREATABLE disease.”

4.  Change how we refer to our loved one from s/he is an alcoholic or drug addict, toMy loved one has the brain disease of addiction. My loved one is treating his/her brain disease, and I am incredibly proud of the work s/he is doing in that effort. We don’t refer to cancer survivors or heart disease survivors as cancerics or heart attacks, my loved one is not their disease. They are a person with a disease, recovering from, treating their disease.”

In summary:
We are not fixing our loved ones; we are honoring the fact they have a chronic brain disease and supporting them in the treatment of their disease.

Relates posts:
What Research is Telling Us About the Brain Disease of Addition (Whether It’s an Addiction to Alcohol or Drugs)

28-Day Residential Treatment – What More Could You Want?

Recovering in Anonymity Continues the Secrecy and Shame

Excellent Resources:
Addiction Treatment
– The Addiction Project: NIDA, NIAAA, Robert Woods Johnson Foundation, HBO Collaboration

Addiction Science: From Molecules to Managed Care – NIDA Publications

Lisa Frederiksen

Lisa Frederiksen

Author | Speaker | Consultant | Founder at BreakingTheCycles.com
Lisa Frederiksen is the author of hundreds of articles and 12 books, including her latest, "10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What you really need to know when your loved one drinks too much,” and "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!” She is a national keynote speaker with over 30 years speaking experience, consultant and founder of BreakingTheCycles.com. Lisa has spent the last 19+ years studying and simplifying breakthrough research on the brain, substance use and other mental health disorders, secondhand drinking, toxic stress, trauma/ACEs and related topics.
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