“Now that gambling addiction is currently the #1 addiction with the highest suicide rate than any other and over 16 million problem gamblers in just the US alone, I want to share some of my story and devastation in my life due to this cunning addiction,” says Catherine Townsend-Lyon, today’s guest author.

Bestselling Kodel Empire Publishing author of the book, Addicted To Dimes: Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat, Catherine is a freelance recovery writer and a columnist for “In Recovery Magazine’s ‘The Author’s Café’.” She also writes for several addiction/recovery publications, including: “Keys to Recovery” and “The Sober World,” and most recently was a contributor to a major media article published by Time.com and Nautilus.us magazines titled; “Addicted to Anticipation: What goes wrong in the brain chemistry of a gambling addict.” Cathering is an Expert Recovery blogger of Gambling Addiction Recovery for Addictionland and is the author of the blog, Recovery Starts Here A Bet Free and Sober Blog, covering gambling addiction and recovery.

Recovery from Gambling Addiction by Catherine Townsend-Lyon

My name is Catherine, and I am a recovering compulsive addicted gambler. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year mark in recovery, but will never forget where I have come from with gambling addiction. I came from the depths of hell, hopelessness, and despair. Gambling addiction took just about everything from me like family, friends, reputation, jobs, my home, car, almost my marriage and cost me way more than money; it almost cost me my life twice from suicide.

At the same time, I was also suffering from undiagnosed mental & emotional health issues and disorders I had no idea about until 2002. My first failed suicide attempt. I woke up in the hospital with bandages wrapped around both my wrists and could hear two people talking about knives all over the living room as I blacked out again. All I remember was everything going dark in nothingness. Now I know it was a complete mind and body break down. A mental/emotional blackout. From there I went to an addiction/mental crisis center. Was on suicide watch the first few days.

Shortly after, a psychiatrist started working with me. And of course, I was also a compulsive gambler too. So, I start working with an addictions counselor as well. I had attempted to stop gambling on my own but felt I could control it on my own and I failed with many relapses and binges even while in outpatient treatment. I guess I had not reached bottom yet. Even after a 20 day stay in a crisis center and suicide attempt!

What was wrong with me?

It’s called ADDICTION. It is a sickness that is very hard to overcome. But possible. And this wasn’t my last time I would worked this circuit. Not due to actively gambling, due to the financial pressures from this disease, I had another suicide attempt in 2006 as it seemed I had not done enough work in all areas of recovery, including my financial inventory. First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan.

But in 2006 I also just wanted to be normal, live life in recovery without having to take medications for mental/emotional issues. So, I stopped taking them thinking it was just the gambling that was causing my mental illness problems of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. So, within two weeks of no meds? I was back to severe depression and suicidal. My answer? I took all my meds at once. I had gotten to that dark, black hole of hopelessness again. Back in the hospital again, another 16-day crisis center stay and days of suicide watch. When released this time, I had learned the hard way that I need to take meds to maintain my mental/emotional health and well-being as they call this being “dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis.”

Recovery with even negative experiences, sprinkled with some “faith” can show us many life lessons in recovery. If we are not learning them, we won’t see our growth. Even when you are not participating in your preference of addiction, we can still have problems arise and life challenges in recovery, so being prepared is vital.

Where can I be going with this part of my story?

Several places. First, the habits and behaviors that we learn and pick up within any addiction and “the cycle” of any addiction needs to be interrupted and taken away for us to have a chance at a real honest recovery. Balance is the key in your recovery path as well. Learning the skills and tools in treatment and therapy to break the cycle of addiction and clear a path for dissipating control, denial, excuses, and more. Second, come to accept that recovery is a life-long process. It is as important to accept as Step-one, total surrender.

And third, having a firm ‘Relapse Prevention Plan’ is a must for anyone who comes into recovery and wants it long-term. We all know that life events happen. Even happy or positive events, not just negative or tragic ones. I feel it is why Gamblers Anonymous asks the question in our combo book of “The 20 Questions” to see if you have a problem with gambling. It is why they pose #19.) “Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?”

YES! For me, even when things good happened, I would want to celebrate by going supposedly to have some “fun” by gambling. However, my addiction was so bad I needed anything I could grab hold of to recover, not just Gamblers Anonymous. I used my meetings and connections there for my support and listening to other like-minded addicts and keep my perspective of how insidious and cunning this illness is. And GA taught me how important it is to be there for others through recovery service as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.

We need to start a conversation about this still hush, hush addiction. Let’s dismantle the “myths” about it. It is one way to shatter the “stigma” around it, and around those who live dual diagnosed as well. Yes, mental/emotional illness in recovery can be a challenging task, but I hope by sharing some of my experiences, strength, and hope, and sharing some of my stories can be an example that recovery is possible, and we can lead happy, healthy, and productive lives in recovery!

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