FAQs
Photo Courtesy: Jessica Scott
Researcher, author, speaker, consultant, Lisa Frederiksen, answers frequently asked questions in a short, two-page summary, “BTCEssentialInformationReAddiction,Treatment,Recovery.”
Additional FAQs are answered below:
- How can you tell if someone drinks too much?
- Can a person have a problem with drinking and not be an alcoholic?
- Is alcoholism really a disease?
- Can it be cured?
- What can someone do to help a loved one who drinks too much?
- Why do you think there are so many problems related to alcoholism and the problems it causes?
- Do you blame your loved ones for their alcoholism or alcohol abuse and the problems it caused?
- Who will benefit from reading this book or from one of your presentations?
- What made you write this book?
- What do you hope to accomplish by writing and speaking on these subjects?
- What’s the best thing that’s come out of your experiences?
- Do you plan to write more books?
Expanded versions of many of these answers can be found in Lisa’s books, If You Loved Me, You’d Stop! and Loved One In Treatment? Now What!
1. How can you tell if someone drinks too much?
Most people think of drinking as either “normal” or “alcoholic.” What we don’t understand is that there is a whole other “stage” — alcohol abuse (excessive drinking). Alcohol abuse is is when a person repeatedly drinks more alcohol than their brain and body can process and engages in drinking behaviors. It’s important to know that a person can engage in drinking behaviors and not be an alcoholic or an alcoholic abuser. Drinking behaviors are simply the result of a person drinking more than their brain and body can process. Drinking behaviors include:
- Doing poorly at work or school because of the drinking or recovering from the effects of drinking.
- Fighting with friends or family about the drinking; saying or doing things you don’t remember or regret.
- Binge drinking (defined as drinking 4 or more standard drinks for women; 5 or more for men).
- Experiencing blackouts – fragmentary or complete; vomiting; passing out.
- Driving while under the influence; getting a DUI; riding in a car driven by someone who has been drinking.
- Having unplanned, unwanted or unprotected sex; committing date rape.
- Being admitted to the emergency room with a high BAC, regardless of the “other” reason.
When a person abuses alcohol — repeatedly drinks more than their brain and body can process — they can actually change the chemical and structural make-up of their brains. These changes can contribute to their developing the disease of alcoholism.
To answer the question, “How can you tell if someone drinks too much,” certainly drinking behaviors is one way. Another is to understand the definition of “normal” or “moderate” drinking:
- for women, it is no more than 7 standard drinks in a week, with no more than 3 of the 7 in a day
- for men, it is no more than 14 standard drinks in a week, with no more than 4 of the 14 in a day
A “standard drink” is defined as:
- a 5 ounce glass of wine
- a 12 ounce beer
- 1.5 ounces (a shot) of 80-proof distilled spirits (scotch, gin, vodka)
- 3.3 ounces of champagne
Note: 4 or more drinks on one occasion for women and 5 or more drinks on one occasion for men is considered binge drinking. Binge drinking is not considered “normal” drinking. Staying within moderate drinking limits allows a person to maintain control of their thinking and thereby their behaviors.
If you are concerned about whether your drinking patterns are a problem, click here to go to NIAAA’s website, “Rethinking Drinking,” where you can anonymously assess your (or someone else’s) drinking patterns and learn tips for how to cut down.
2. Can a person have a problem with drinking and not be an alcoholic?
Yes. See the answer to question #1.
3. Is alcoholism really a disease?
Yes. It is one of the diseases of addiction. Download a copy of the pdf referenced in the opening statement on this page for details.
No. Alcohol dependence (alcoholism) cannot be “cured” in the sense that a person can control their drinking (consistently avoid drinking behaviors ), but it can most definitely be treated – by the alcoholic, not by you. The pdf explains what effective treatment looks like.
Alcohol abuse (excessive drinking), on the other hand, can be “cured.” The person needs to change their drinking to fall within normal limits (or stop drinking if they find they cannot control it). The reason alcohol abuse can be “cured” and alcoholism can only be treated is that alcoholism is one of the diseases of addiction. Addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease, that particularly affects areas of the brain involved in judgment, decision making, learning and memory and pleasure. (Again, refer to the pdf referenced above).
5. What can someone do to help a loved one who drinks too much?
- Learn as much as you can about the disease of alcoholism and about alcohol abuse and what constitutes normal drinking.
- Learn as much as you can about what happens to you (and other family members) by virtue of growing up with or living with an alcoholic or an alcohol abuser. This will help you to become open to ways to make your life more enjoyable whether your loved one stops drinking or not.
- Learn to talk openly and honestly about what’s going on and thus stop the denial. It really is “that bad” – whether it’s alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence (alcoholism).
6. Why do you think there are so many problems related to alcoholism and the problems it causes?
Denial. Shame. Lack of knowledge and understanding.
I think the denial comes into play because of society’s inaccurate view of alcoholism as a shameful lack of willpower. This view drives the alcoholic and his or her loved ones to continue making one Herculean attempt after another to battle the disease – (and long before the disease, the alcohol abuse) – in isolation.
Additionally, society is even more silent on what is happening to the family members and friends who love the alcoholic or alcohol abuser — the people who are on the receiving end of the secondhand drinking — those who try to cope with the drinking behaviors. Secondhand drinking/drugging (SHDD) is further explained in the pdf referenced above.
7. Do you blame your loved ones for their alcoholism or alcohol abuse and the problems it caused?
Not any more. I used to until I learned about and understood this new brain and addiction-related research. That’s why I wrote my latest two books and started Breaking The Cycles.com so that others don’t need to suffer in silence. Until we start to honestly and openly talk about alcohol abuse and alcoholism AND secondhand drinking/drugging, the staggering statistics of our silence will continue.
8. Who will benefit from reading your books or hearing one of your presentations?
Just about anyone whose life has been negatively impacted by alcohol, as well as others whose work can help us break the cycles and change the conversations about all of the issues surrounding alcohol abuse and alcoholism. Here are some suggestions:
- Pediatricians – who can help children and teens who are starting to drink or who have a family member who does.
- Internists – who can make better alcohol use assessments and read the “red flags” to identify the true cause of a patient’s ailment.
- Alcoholics, alcohol abusers – who will learn what can or has happened to their brains and to their loved ones who have been affected by their drinking.
- Lawmakers – who can make more effective legal and public policy decisions, such as labeling (think California’s 2008 fast food calorie labeling law), social host laws and insurance parity for addiction and secondhand drinking/drugging treatment.
- Parents – who will find invaluable information if they have a child grappling with a drinking problem or a spouse whose drinking is affecting the family’s dynamics and their co-parenting.
- Teachers, administrators and school counselors – who will learn why drinking affects the brain under 21 differently than the adult brain; plus gain a better understanding of what students might be going through if a sibling or parent is drinking too much, helping to pave the way for different approaches to student discipline.
- Family law attorneys and child protective services personnel – who will learn how difficult co-parenting can be when one parent drinks too much and who will better understand the family dynamics the child has been living in when excessive drinking is present, all of which can help them construct better custody and settlement arrangements.
- Domestic violence center employees and volunteers – who can use this research to help victims of domestic violence understand the role a loved one’s excessive drinking may play in their struggle.
- Mental health professionals – who help with therapy treatments for all concerned, as well as those needing to understand the concepts and prevalence of dual diagnoses and co-addictions.
- Treatment center personnel – who can use it to help family members of the clients they treat for alcoholism better understand the disease and the importance of treating their own secondhand drinking/drugging impacts, as well as help help their clients – the alcoholics – better understand what their family members have been through.
- Loved ones of the person who drinks too much – which includes more than half of all American men and women and one in four of America’s children.
9. What made you so interested in alcohol and addiction-related issues?
It took until I was 49 years old to get help after what at that time had been some 35 years of living with family alcohol abuse/alcoholism. My getting help was the result of one of my loved ones entering a residential alcohol treatment program. The program had a strong family component, which is how I finally started to come to grips with what had happened to me and that there were behaviors I’d adopted over the years in order to cope with the secondhand drinking — behaviors that were not helping my loved one nor others in my family nor myself. It was in coming to grips with my behaviors that I could change my life.
10. What do you hope to accomplish by writing and speaking on these subjects?
I hope to use my experiences and years of research, individual therapy, interviews, family therapy, AlAnon and conversations with others whose lives have been affected by someone’s drinking, to help others so they don’t have to spend decades living with it and slowly eroding the quality of their lives.
To that end, all of us at Breaking The Cycles hope to change (and in some cases, simply start) the conversations surrounding alcohol abuse, alcoholism (expanded in 2010 to include other drug addictions), underage drinking (expanded in 2010 to include underage drug use) and secondhand drinking/drugging, the same way we changed those surrounding cancer, AIDS and smoking. In the 1950s, for example, the word, “cancer” was not mentioned — it was called “the Big C.” But today, we’re raising millions of dollars to fight it. In the 1980s, no one wanted to talk about AIDS, while thousands were dying. Again, that’s not true, today. In the early 1970s, most people smoked cigarettes, drove cars without seat belts, road bicycles without helmets and hadn’t heard of an infant car seat. Yet, new information and talking about these activities convinced millions of Americans to stop smoking cigarettes and outlaw smoking in public places. New information and talking about it led to the passage of laws to require bike helmets until age 18, seat belts for everyone and car seats for children ages 4 and under.
That’s what new information AND talking about it can do and that’s what my books, presentations, the rest of the BTC team and this website are all about. Together – openly discussing all of the issues surrounding alcohol abuse, drug abuse and alcoholism and drug addiction WITHOUT shame, guilt and denial — we can break the cycles and bring about similar understanding and change!
11. What’s the best thing that’s come out of your experiences?
The quality of my life has improved dramatically. I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier, more fulfilled and more at peace with myself and with “life” as it comes.
12. Do you plan any more books?
Yes, I’m currently working on another book:
Alcohol and the Brain: 10 Things We All Ought To Know (2010)
