We often think of long-term sobriety birthdays, 10, 15, 25+ years, as proof, “This person has got it!” But for those at any stage along the recovery continuum know, this is not necessarily the case. Not that a person is a constant risk waiting to fall, but rather the challenges that life’s challenges pose to one’s peace of mind and physical well-being can, and often do, threaten sobriety.

Diane Cameron wrote her book, Out of the Woods, for women in recovery 10+ years to address the very real challenges women face when it comes to maintaining their continued sobriety. In her guest post, below, Diane shares her thoughts and reasons for writing this book.

A Book for Women in Recovery 10+ Years

Often in 12-step programs we hear newcomers either consoled or chastised by being told that, “It takes three to 5 years to get out of the woods.” This advice is meant to offer patience with all that must be learned in those crucial first years of learning to live sober.

Later, near the five-year mark, many of us realize that it took just that long to get fully into the woods and to make a real start in changing our thinking. But if we continue to work the program a wonderful thing happens: long-term recovery takes hold. This means we cross the ten-year or even 20-year mark. At this point there is truly a sensation of coming out of the woods and another life begins. But as much as we celebrate long-term sobriety, there is still more to learn. We find ourselves asking: What does it mean to be a recovering woman in double-digit sobriety?

One thing that many people experience is the paradox that comes at the ten-year mark. The good news is that, after ten years, there really is much less pain in our lives. But we also know that it was pain that kept us regularly attending meetings. So now, as life gets better, what does it mean when the way that we approach our recovery changes?

Many people who find themselves in this situation feel worried or confused, and often other recovering people can sometimes be very critical of those who are in this stage of recovery. But in fact it is just that: another stage of recovery. It’s not bad or shameful, but certainly not spoken of openly.

Changes and Challenges Faced by Women in Long-Term Recovery

After many years of my own recovery and after interviewing women with ten-plus years of recovery, I have begun to speak to groups and the response has been overwhelming. I stated offering workshops for women with ten or more years and discovered that I was not alone. There is a lot to talk about in later stages of recovery that we never imagined when we first began.

For example, in early recovery we are warned about making “geographic changes.” We are told there are dangers in moving away from our home group and supports. But in later recovery we may fine that moving to a new town or a new state is actually a big part of good recovery—our move is for a good relationship, new education or positive career change. In those cases not moving would be a sign of missing growth in recovery.

Another aspect of later recovery is learning to age well. In early recovery we feel so good once our body gets healthy that it doesn’t occur to us that we will physically age and that we’ll deal with every aspect of aging. That will likely include one or two serious health problems. How to manage that? For women aging will include negotiating menopause. That can seem trivial in a community of people just getting clean or sober but those changes are life and sobriety threatening in later recovery.

I wrote the book, Out of the Woods, to normalize these experiences and so many more: sex, remarriage, career changes and retirement among them. As grateful as we are for long recovery, it does come with new challenges and we have to keep talking about those too.

Diane can be reached via email at DianeOCameron@gmail.com.