The following is an excerpt from a post written by Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist and Alcohol/Drug Counselor, for ezinearticles.
The first year of addiction recovery is often cited as the most difficult period of time in recovery-not just because early recovery is so fragile and the probability of relapse is greatest-but because relationships change in early recovery. Many marriages that survived decades of alcohol/drug addiction, do not survive early recovery.
The alcoholic/addict is making major changes in the first year of recovery and family members still feel neglected and unimportant. As the alcoholic/addict struggles to maintain sobriety, regroup with work and career goals, and recapture a positive sense of self, the spouse or other family member is usually still smarting over past hurts. They observe the alcoholic focusing on their own recovery and issues and wonder when they will carve out some time and attention for the family.
Family members who have picked up the slack as the addict has abdicated more and more responsibilities within the family, may now be expecting the recovering addict to reclaim those responsibilities. Once the drinking/using has stopped, family members expect the addict to be the person that they always want him/her to be. Family members may not even know that they hold this expectation, and are often confused by their anger at the addict over not changing fast enough, working a good enough program, or not accepting enough responsibilities.
Click here to finish Dr. Ferguson’s article.
