Talking to Children Early, Often About Drinking

by Lisa Frederiksen

If you work with children or have children, this site is for YOU! It was/is created and maintained by SAMHSA, NIAAA and the ADCouncil.

To help you better understand what you’ll find, here is a cut and past of just two portions of the site — the “HOME” page and the “Talk Early, Talk Often, Get Others Involved” page.

You will be able to customize a Talk early, Often, Get others Involved ACTION plan for a child based on gender and age of a child. This is truly an amazing resource for parents, teachers, community organizers — anyone who works with, loves or lives with children.

Create your action plan. Personalize a plan for talking to your child about alcohol.
Talk early. Learn why it's never too early to talk to your children about drinking.Talk often. Get the tools you need to start a real conversation and keep it going.Get others involved. See how friends, family, and community can be part of the solution.

Real talk starts here.

Real kids are curious about alcohol. 40% have tried it by the time they reach eighth grade.1 Talking with your children early and often can make a difference. Get the facts, the tools, and the advice you need to start talking real.

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Talk EARLY    Talk OFTEN   Get others INVOLVED

Short, frequent discussions can have a real impact on your child’s decisions about alcohol.

Talking to your child at an early age about drinking is the first step toward keeping them alcohol-free. But as they enter junior high and high school, the pressure to try alcohol increases.1 It’s important to continue the conversation throughout adolescence.

Talking often builds an open, trusting relationship with your child.

Children are more likely to avoid drinking when they have a strong, trusting relationship with their parents.2 Get into the habit of chatting with your child every day. It will make it easier to have serious conversations about things like alcohol, and will make your child more comfortable coming to you for advice.

Lots of little talks are more effective than one “big talk.”

Sitting down for the “big talk” about alcohol can be intimidating for both you and your child. Try using everyday opportunities to talk – in the car, during dinner, or while you and your child are watching TV. Having lots of little talks takes the pressure off trying to get all of the information out in one lengthy discussion, and your child will be less likely to tune you out.

When you do talk about alcohol, make your views and rules clear.

Take the time to discuss your beliefs and opinions about alcohol with your child. Be honest and express a clear, consistent message that underage drinking is unacceptable. When they feel that you’re being real and honest with them, they’ll be more likely to respect your rules about underage drinking.3

As children get older, the conversation changes.

What you say to a 9-year-old about alcohol is different from what you say to a 15-year-old. Children also can’t learn all they need to know from a single discussion. Make sure that the information you offer your child fits their age. As they get older, you can give them more information and reinforce your rules.

Create your personalized Action Plan to get age-appropriate tips.

Remember that the conversation goes both ways.

Although talking to your child about your thoughts about alcohol is essential, it’s also important to hear their point of view. Give your child the opportunity to ask you questions, and listen to what they have to say. Children who have parents who listen to their feelings and concerns are more likely to say “no” to alcohol.4

What you do is just as important as what you say.

In addition to talking often with your child about alcohol, it’s important to set a good example. If you choose to drink, you can positively influence your child by drinking in moderation and NEVER driving when you’ve been drinking. Be aware of where you keep your alcohol, and always remind your child that the alcohol in your house is off-limits.


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About Lisa Frederiksen

Lisa Frederiksen has been consulting, researching, writing and speaking on substance abuse, addiction, treatment, dual diagnosis, underage drinking and help for the family centered around 21st century brain and addiction-related research since 2003. Her 4o+ years experience with family and friends’ alcohol abuse and alcoholism and her seventh and eighth books, "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!" and "If You Loved Me, You'd Stop!," frame her work. She founded BreakingTheCycles.com in 2008 and writes a blog of the same name.
This entry was posted in Alcohol | Drug | Substance Abuse, Alcohol|Drug-Related Public Policy, Help for Families | Codependency, Underage Drinking|Drug Abuse and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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