by Lisa Frederiksen
I thought I’d close out the posts for 2009 with a few selections from Al-Anon’s daily reader, Courage to Change:
“Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it.” Acceptance can be empowering because it makes choice possible. (From page 235, September 12.)
There have been days when many of us felt that good times would never come again. After so many disappointments, it seemed too painful to continue to hope. We shut our hearts and minds to our dreams and stopped expecting to find happiness. We weren’t happy but at least we wouldn’t be let down anymore. Caring, hoping, wanting — these are risky. But as we recover from the effects of [living with] alcoholism, we may find that the risks are worth taking. In time, it may not be enough to simply avoid disappointments; we want more; we want rich, full, exciting lives with joy as well as sorrow. Just finding the willingness to believe that joy can exist in our lives today can be very challenging, but until we make room in our hearts for good times, we may not recognize them when they arrive. (From page 148, May 27.)
Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds most alcoholics, many family members and friends stop noticing what is going on with themselves…. But focusing on ourselves doesn’t mean that we let other people walk all over us and pretend not to notice, or that whatever others do is acceptable. Nor does it imply that we should stop caring about our loved ones. Focusing on ourselves simply means that when we acknowledge the situation as it is, we look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people. We consider what is within out power to change instead of expecting others to do the changing. As a result, problems have a better chance of getting solved, and we lead more manageable lives. (From p. 359, December 24.)
I wish you all a very Happy New Year!
