Don’t Forget the Fun!
by Lisa Frederiksen
Often as a family or an individual struggles to come to terms with the consequences of a loved one’s drinking, we get so bogged down in trying to get ‘well’ – whether that be attending meetings, reading recovery books, going to therapy sessions, talking, worrying, struggling against a desperate urgency to start feeling better, NOW – that we miss the opportunities to just have fun.
Fun! It doesn’t have to be complicated or take loads 
of planning — turn on some music and dance around the house, take a run, join a child in their world, read a book.
That abandon for just a few moments or 20 minutes or an hour, when we do something that has nothing to do with any of this recovery ’stuff,’ can do us a world of good. ‘Fun’ means we don’t talk about any of it, we don’t think about it (even if we have to pretend at first) - we must completely separate ourselves from it and just immerse ourselves in the joy of having some fun.
This is especially true when children are involved. Taking time for fun helps everyone start to believe that life really will get better, and trust me, it really, really does. Recall that recovery for all concerned is about rewiring neural networks in our brains, in other words, grooving new thought pathways. Having fun is a great way to do that, and the more you do it, the more grooved those kinds of neural networks will become.
ENJOY! 
October 15th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Thanks for the post.
Yes, I think that a lot of people who get sober at first think that they can not have any fun, like they won’t ever laugh again. It is very untrue, but they also have to be open to having fun when it is presented to them.
Sober people have a different way of looking at the world!
October 15th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Hi Mike,
Thanks for your comment. Your comment about the difficulty newly sober people have to being open to fun when it is presented to them makes sense, too, when we see how the neural networks in the brain have been impacted by the addiction (check out the category, Brain Scans). Not only does it take a while to wire new neural networks for fun without alcohol, they are ‘missing’ the neural networks they weren’t wiring while in their addiction (such as ones those related to other aspects of life — processing emotions, interacting with people when sober). But, the wonderful thing is the brain can change!! Lisa
January 17th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
[...] 4. Work to bolster your brain’s health – it’s infrastructure – your neural networks. This can be done through diet, exercise, sleep and mindfulness activities. For you see, there is a whole new body of brain research that’s been done in these areas as well, thanks to the new brain imaging technologies of the past 10-15 years. Taking care of your brain’s health will also give you power; a sense of control. And for us, having control of something is so important because we need to take our control focus off our loved one’s drinking (or recovery) and put it somewhere that can benefit us – our lives. Here are two links to previous posts to get you started: Exercise and the Brain: One Way to Help With Recovery and Don’t Forget the Fun! [...]
January 23rd, 2010 at 9:42 pm
[...] 4. Work to bolster your brain’s health – it’s infrastructure – your neural networks. This can be done through diet, exercise, sleep and mindfulness activities. For you see, there is a whole new body of brain research that’s been done in these areas as well, thanks to the new brain imaging technologies of the past 10-15 years. Taking care of your brain’s health will also give you power; a sense of control. And for us, having control of something is so important because we need to take our control focus off our loved one’s drinking (or recovery) and put it somewhere that can benefit us – our lives. Here are two links to previous posts to get you started: Exercise and the Brain: One Way to Help With Recovery and Don’t Forget the Fun! [...]