Alcohol and the Brain and the Domestic Violence Connection
by Lisa Frederiksen
I gave a presentation of the above title to the Lane County Domestic Violence Council, and the feedback from those attending prompts me to write this post.
There have been many studies on the relationship between alcohol abuse and domestic violence. Statistics put the presence of alcohol in a domestic violence situation at approximately two-thirds. This is not to say there’s necessarily a cause and effect (i.e., a person’s alcohol abuse causes them to become violent towards their domestic partners), but the fact that alcohol abuse is present makes it imperative we assess and treat the alcohol abuser/alcoholic for their alcohol abuse, as well the family members who have lived in the alcohol abusing home. Why?
If you’ve been following my posts, you better understand 
that the impact of alcohol on the family system is huge because it skews the way an alcoholic or an alcohol abuser “thinks,” and equally important, it skews the “thinking” of the other family members, as well (whom I label “codependents” for simplicity’s sake). This is because the addiction aspect of the disease of alcoholism hijacks the pleasure/reward neural connections of the alcoholic’s brain, and the heightened sense of urgency to be on guard for or attempting to control or minimize damages of the alcohol abuser’s or alcoholic’s drinking behaviors hijacks the fight-or-flight neural connections in the codependent’s brain. Both the pleasure/reward and fight-or-flight systems are centered in the brain’s Limbic System — the non-thinking part of the brain. This is a problem because the cerebral cortex is where reasoned thinking occurs. This means that both the alcoholics and the codependents are not “thinking.” Rather they are both reacting because so much of their day-to-day behaviors are the result of neural connections firing in the Limbic System, not the cerebral cortex portions of their brains.
It is these skewed thinking processes that not only worsen the myriad of issues that comprise the fall-out of domestic violence, BUT they must also be considered as part of the overall intervention effort. For without this parallel and equal treatment, the positive effects of interventions with the domestic violence will likely not be successful long term given the following:
- the abused may continue to rationalize the domestic violence as something caused by the drinking, believing the abuser wouldn’t do what he/she does if it weren’t for the alcohol
- shelters may not admit women with alcohol abuse or addiction problems — especially if they have children — as they’re not equipped to treat that problem as well
- the abused may fear calling for help because if she’s sent to an alcohol treatment center, she cannot protect her children from the abuser or she may fear a social services agency may award her children to him because they may believe the abuser’s version of the situation or she’s afraid to accuse him of violence for fear he’ll accuse her of drinking too much
- the abuser may continue to use their drinking as an excuse, e.g., they wouldn’t have done it, if they hadn’t been drinking or “You know I love you, I won’t let it happen, again. I promise. Please don’t leave me, I know what I have to do.”
- parental alcohol abuse or alcoholism is an important factor in a child’s decision to use or abuse alcohol
- parental alcohol abuse or alcoholism and the behaviors it spawns in the other family members is a significant contributing factor in a child’s perceptions of what constitutes “normal” behaviors and relationships
Understanding the new brain research, learning the facts about alcohol abuse not commonly known (e.g., behaviors most commonly associated with alcoholism are present during the alcohol abuse stage; in other words – you don’t have to be an alcoholic to abuse alcohol; all alcoholics go through alcohol abuse but not all alcohol abusers become alcoholics) and recognizing and appreciating what happens to the family members (because of living with an alcohol abuser/alcoholic) is critical to helping families who are victims of domestic violence when alcohol abuse is also present.
