by Lisa Frederiksen
I’m writing this post with input from my daughters – ages 21 and 20 – neither of whom live at home, but both of whom went through those long summer days when the parents were gone, the beach was hot and there was nothing to do. We’ve put together the following suggestions to help parents cope with teens, summer and the temptations of alcohol:
1. Talk to your teens about the latest research on brain development and the impact of alcohol during years 12 – 25. What?!?
- One of the things that helped my daughters was to better understand why not drinking during one’s teen years is important. This is not to say that they don’t, haven’t or won’t, but the information was extremely helpful. Don’t make it a lecture – more of a conversation - click here for help.
2. Empty the house of alcohol or monitor it carefully.
- Somehow this can feel as if you’re “telling” you teen you don’t trust them not to sneak or take your alcohol, but it’s best not to present the temptation. It gives them a solid out, “My parents don’t have any in the house,” or “My mom counts the beers in the frig.”
3. Make connections with the parents of your teen’s friends.
- This is so much easier said than done as it feels like you’re intruding on your teen’s life, and, again – not trusting them. But, it’s the same idea – you remove the temptation. If you track on your teen’s whereabouts and confirm another parent is on board with oversight, you’re really helping your teen avoid the situation of trying to protect or go along with a friend or friends and what can happen when parents aren’t home.
4. Monitor your own alcohol use.
- Check out this website, Rethinking Drinking, to review your own alcohol use and confirm that you are staying within moderate drinking limits. Most importantly, if you and your spouse take the kids out to dinner and share a bottle of wine and one of you drives home, the message is, “there is an amount you can drink and still drive safely.” Teens notice this and think the same can be true for them or one of their friends who “only had a couple” and offers them a ride home.
5. Be up and awake when your teen’s curfew arrives.
- Set the alarm and get up fifteen minutes before your teen’s curfew. This way, they have the excuse that they can’t drink because “their mom is always up waiting for them.” They know that you’ll talk to them, hug them and kiss them goodnight and thus be able to tell instantly if they’ve been drinking, which they can share with their friends as a reason they can’t drink.
Most importantly, talk frequently and often about alcohol use / abuse / dependence. Use television programs, ads, articles, news headlines or sporting events as segues to talk about how people use alcohol, why they do, what might they do instead, how they act, whether a 32 ounce cup is “just a drink”…you get it. Click here for additional information and suggestions for talking with teens.
