To Mothers Who May Have a Child Who Drinks Too Much

by Lisa Frederiksen

It must be especially difficult to find anything “Happy” about “Happy Mother’s Day” if you are grappling with a child’s drinking problem. Whether your child is a teen or an adult, being a mother of a child who drinks too much (whether alcohol abuse or alcoholism) must be unbelievably difficult. The concepts of “letting go” or ” mind your own business” or “you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can’t cure it” (aka the “Three C’s”) must seem foreign and impossible to image — after all, you are their mother and there must be, should be something you can do…

As someone with forty years experience of loving / living with various loved ones who drank/drink too much and/or were/are alcoholics, but not one who is my child, I can only imagine your pain and your struggles. And, while I cannot know what it’s like when your child is the one with the problem, I do understand a great deal about alcoholism and alcohol abuse and want to share a couple of thoughts that may help you with a next step:

• understand how the brain develops from ages 12 – 25 – addiction is a young person’s disease, but it often takes until they are much older before it’s diagnosed and hopefully treated – click here for an earlier post, “Teen Brain Development and Alcohol”
• learn about the disease of addiction; specifically as it relates to the teen years – click here for a great resource
• talk about it — this resource will help you with what to say if think your child may be drinking or using drug.

And, lastly — know, truly know — you are a good mother. You are doing the best you can, with what you’ve known, to save or protect your child from harm, and that’s all any mother can do.