One of the phrases used to describe “classic” codependent behaviors is the “4 M’s” – mothering, manipulating, managing and martyrdom. This phrase inspired another of those, “What are you talking about?” reactions from me.
Dr. Brian Scott’s November 16 blog post, “How to win friends and influence others,” provides an excellent description of the 4 M’s and how they play out — not only in an alcoholic relationship, but in the wide variety of other relationships where one person is trying to influence the behavior of another.
About Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen has been consulting, researching, writing and speaking on substance abuse, addiction, treatment, dual diagnosis, underage drinking and help for the family centered around 21st century brain and addiction-related research since 2003. Her 4o+ years experience with family and friends’ alcohol abuse and alcoholism and her seventh and eighth books, "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!" and "If You Loved Me, You'd Stop!," frame her work. She founded BreakingTheCycles.com in 2008 and writes a blog of the same name.
