Add Nothing
by Lisa Frederiksen
If you happened to read the Short Cut to Sanity, “What Were You Thinking,” you may be asking yourself, “So how am I supposed to help my teen when all of their peers are drinking?”
This website, Life at its best. Add nothing, is dedicated to helping teens enjoy life without alcohol. To quote from the website, “It’s all about doing what you love – without alcohol. Life at its best doesn’t shame, blame or lecture. It supports youth who choose not to drink and gives them the added reassurance that they are making the right choice. And for those youth who are struggling with the choice to drink or not to drink…”
So check it out and please add your comments and suggestions for what you’ve tried or how you’ve approached the issue of underage drinking with your teen – especially given they can vote or go to war at 18 but can’t legally have a beer?
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
We have never allowed underage drinking in our home and we’ve always discouraged any kind of underage drinking. However, both of my college kids are drinking at school, although one much more responsibly than the other. We give our disapproval, but at the same time we feel we have to balance it with guidance on how to drink responsibly. I think we are better off talking to him about how to avoid hangovers, giving him information on the new research findings about how alcohol affects the young brain, and reinforcing “don’t drink and drive”. I fear if we just draw a line in the sand and say “no drinking underage, period!” then we won’t have opportunities to help guide him.
I’m also concerned with what happens when they turn 21. I’m tempted to go to his college town for the event so that I can keep him locked up!
September 6th, 2008 at 4:14 am
I have 4 children, ages 23, 21, 19 and 16. This is a monumental task to try and control their drinking. Peers, society, stress and genetic tendency push them into it. There is nothing I can control, outside of what I “think” I am controlling. I am a baby boomer who drank and would party just like all my friends. What makes me think my kids would be any different. My nagging and rigid demands only pushed all my kids in the opposite direction. Let Go and Let God. All actions have there natural consequences. It is an illusion to think we (as parents) can control our kids. Yes, lead by example. Yes, instill good, healthy values and morals. Yes, designate boundries and consequences. Other than that, fate will take any situation out of “our” hands. This is a good thing! Who are we to think we have all the answers. We are all imperfect – perfect beings. The very situation we are straining to control, just may be the very ideal situation to occur for someone we love to “hit a bottom” and facilitate personal change. STOP TRYING TO CONTROL OUTCOMES.